To See Once More Through Innocent Eyes

This coming Sunday will mark the hardest day of the entire year for myself and my family. On that day five years ago, our lives were forever changed when the youngest member of our family passed away.

 

I've spoken before about Cameron, but never really talked about who he was. To most people, he's nothing more than a name that until now, you've never heard. But Cami was, in the most honest way I can say, my greatest teacher.

 

Like most people, I took things for granted. Mostly the little things, like how on a clear night you can just gaze up at the stars and truly appreciate the beauty of them. Or the simple sight of seeing a butterfly flutter past on a warm afternoon.

 

In grade school and junior high, I loved to read and discovered I had a natural talent and a love for writing. But I didn't realize then I had been given that gift for a reason. As I grew older, it was set aside and forgotten, left unused and gathering dust.

 

There's the old saying that goes 'when one door closes, another opens.' Sometimes I guess the door that closes has to slam in your face and break your heart before that other door opens. It certainly did for me.

 

I heard more than a few people during Cami's wake attempt to offer me comfort by saying 'he's in a better place' and 'God needed another angel.' I understand people tried to help by saying those things, but in all honesty, those words only made the grief deepen and for a time, turn to hate. What better place? What better place could there possibly be for a three year old boy than with his mother who he loved and adored more than anything in the world?

 

I know Cami loved us all, that was the type of person he was, but he and his mother had a special bond that was stronger than anything imaginable, and it was severed, suddenly and unexpectedly. There was no better place for him than right beside her, watching Thomas the Tank Engine or snuggling up with her on the couch. And the other one, that 'God needed another angel' saying... that only makes God sound selfish, putting his needs above anyone else.

 

So I grieved. I was angry. Yes, I even hated. And when I'd suffered through every emotion possible... that other door opened. It was opened by a three year old boy who through his loss, not only opened my eyes to what was truly important in life, he reminded me that I'd been given a gift, one that I was meant to use. A gift that could not just entertain others, but one that I could use to pass on lessons that needed to be taught. Lessons that it took losing a piece of my heart for me to learn myself.

 

That is what the Exiled trilogy is about. Underneath the simple covers, past the strong language and the few steamy scenes (it is a paranormal romance trilogy, after all), there's a deeper meaning. Lessons within the story. Lessons that took loss for me to find, but was meant to pass on.

 

The trilogy wasn't truly done until I had overhauled it several months ago. Perhaps it's just coincidence, or fate, or maybe it was something more - because this year Oct 18th happens to fall on a Sunday. I don't know what to call it. The trilogy has angels within it, after all, among other things. But it's not just a story. It wasn't written just to entertain, but to teach. To pass on lessons. It was written for a purpose.

 

People still tell me from time to time that Cami is an angel in Heaven now. If that's the case, then Heaven is right here, because I see him every day in the way our family dog, Jaena, greets my wife at the door, and how she clings to her just like Cami did. I see him in Jaena at night too, when she snuggles up to my wife just like Cami used to. I see him every time a butterfly flutters by, because it makes me think of a part in the first book of the trilogy where humans are compared to butterflies - that the energy within us that most people like to think of as their soul is wrapped around by our bodies like a shell, and when we die, that energy becomes something more beautiful, like a butterfly emerging from its own cocoon. I see Cami in every small act of kindness one person gives to another.

 

And I see him in what I do. This isn't just a hobby for me, like some people think. What made Cami my greatest teacher was his innocence, his unconditional love toward others - because his light hadn't been darkened by the greed, the lies, the negativity that the media constantly reports on, and the selfishness that blankets our world today. He radiated outwards, not inwards. And as long as I'm writing, as long as I refuse to give up this job that focuses out to others like he did, Cami is alive in me, too.

 

 

In honor of my teacher, who through his loss showed me what is truly important in life, this Sunday on Oct. 18th, I'm running a promotion and marking all three books in the trilogy down from their regular $2.99 price to $0.99 each. Life is about what we can do for others, and I want to do this for all of you.

 

The books are The Exiled, The Exiled: Continuation, and The Exiled: Infinity. Below are the links for the first book, and the other two can be gotten to from there.

 

US -  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00L9NO5U8 (In Memory of Cami Promo begins at 12am PST)

UK - http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00L9NO5U8 (In Memory of Cami Promo begins at 12am GMT)

 

 

"To learn what's truly important in life, all one needs to do is look in the eyes of a small child - one who still looks upon the world with innocent eyes - who has not learned about lies, hatred, and selfishness, but knows only the emotion of love. It is they who are the real teachers. They are the ones we should strive to learn from, and be more like. If we could learn to see once more through innocent eyes, imagine how beautiful our world would become."

 

                                                                                            --- Scott A. Borgman